Reflections After The Thrill Is Gone

Wow, sorry guys. I’ve been running like a hamster on a wheel ever since I got back from New York, and unfortunately none of the running had anything to do with my novel. So needless to say, I’ve been frustrated for the past two weeks.

The good stuff first: Thrillerfest was awesome! I met some great people, met some great agents, and got a nice handful of said agents interested in my work. I won’t say how many, but it was more than three, which was better than I thought I would do. The authors I heard speak, including Lee Child and Catherine Coulter, were inspirational and made me realize that I could actually pull this writing thing off. Those few days were the happiest days I’ve had in some time.

Getting back to Cali was a pain in the arse. I won’t go into everything, because it is a looong story, but I will say this much: I was supposed to leave on Sunday July 15, and I didn’t fly out until the 17th. Pissed off would be an understatement.

One thing happened that I didn’t expect, though. Up until this point, I had always put writing and working with children (I’m a therapist) as even on my Passion List. The few days I spent in New York made me realize that writing is actually above kids. I honestly never thought I’d say that, but the last few weeks confirmed it. My actual job (therapist/case manager for autistic kids) got so spectacularly busy that by the time I got home, all I could do was eat, vent to the BFFs, and go to sleep. No “real” writing. In turn, I became one deeply annoyed little…um, witch.

My trip to Thrillerfest (and the near meltdown I had when I got back) showed me that I can be happy as a clam without my job, so long as I’m writing. Take away my ability/time/energy to write, and I start a slow, painful descent into madness.

I know what some of you are saying…”If you’re really a writer, then you write no matter what.” Notice a few lines up that I said I didn’t do any “real” writing. That meant that I did no writing/editing on BLAQUE. I did write a little, but it was fluff that will never see the light of day. Some brilliant writing got done on BLAQUE while I was in NYC, but once the drama at work started, my creativity went into the crapper.

I can’t stand by and let my creative mind take a beating like this. I won’t…

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